October

I know I say this every month, but I honestly can’t believe that this year is going so fast! A lot has happened in the past 10 months, and I’m so glad that I’ve kept track. Sometimes I forget that one of the reasons I set up this blog was to document my life and that I’m the main person I’m writing for. So, I guess it’s time to document the past 31 days.

Saying that, I actually want to start with the 30th September since when I was writing the last monthly update, I still had one more event to go to and it was a pretty big one. I’m working on a project called Into The Outside and over October we’ve had an exhibition as part of the Brighton Photo Biannual.

 

When I left off last time, I was just getting ready to go to the opening night and it was great. Although I missed the official opening of the festival with the speeches and stuff, Luca and I still went to see my exhibition that night and it was the first time I’d seen every one else’s work.  Afterwards, we went for Nando’s to celebrate and then ended up going to a dessert place as well because there was a lot to celebrate. We hadn’t been there before so we didn’t know what to expect, I certainly wasn’t expecting things to be so big – apparently neither was Luca!

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As well as living my dream of having my work in an exhibition, I also got to cross being a published writer off of my goals list. Although I have written for various places before, this time I have my own monthly series on the Find Get Give website. If you didn’t know, Find Get Give is a mental health website and it has advice from a range of professionals as well as celebrities. Stephen Fry is one of those celebrities. That totally makes us friends, right?!

In other unexpected turns in my life, there was one night this month when two of my lectures and I sat in a pub discussing my exhibition. I felt a little out of my depth, but it’s good to get out of your comfort zone sometimes. It made me realise that I need to take myself a little more seriously sometimes; a lot of the things that happened this month are because I put myself out there and made them happen. I definitely had help, but I did still did them, so what’s stopping me doing everything else?

Speaking of being brave, something very important happened this month (other than all the other important stuff – October’s been pretty significant). This one requires a little history: for the past few years, or rather more accurately the past several years, I’ve had a secret. I’d been trying to find a way to tell my parents, but every time I tried the words never seem to make it from my head to my mouth. Finally, after years of struggling and contemplating just how I was going to do it, I came out to my parents. And it went okay.

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In less life changing but still exciting news, I also went to the private view of the Experimental Motion exhibition at Brighton Museum. As part of the Museum Collective, I’ve made some experimental film pieces that are on a video loop in the gallery. One of them involves a cannibalistic cookie, and shows that sometimes it is appropriate to play with your food.Check it out if you happen to be in the area.

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The end of the month meant the end of the Into The Outside exhibition, but not without a final celebration. During the day, there were various activities related to the project, and I was part of a duo giving guided tours. If you’d of come to me a few years ago and said that some day I’d be leading the public round an exhibiton with my own work in it, I would have laughed in your face. I never used to be able to even talk in class, but this month I embraced the fear and as it turns out, I’m not bad at public speaking – who knew?

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In the evening, it was our turn to be celebrated. Everyone invited their friends and family to come along and see what we’d been working on. I was lucky enough to have two friends – Tyler and Megan – come along and finally see what I’d been going on about for months. There’s nothing quite like sharing something that you’re proud of with the people you care about. It meant a lot to me that they came to see it, and like with a lot of things this month, it’s something I hope to never forget. I was bursting with pride, and this was only the half way point exhibition – in February, I’m going to be a mess.

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There’s been a lot of good moments this month, but it hasn’t been without the bad too. I’m so grateful for the people who have supported me and been there for me. I’ve come so far in the past few years, and I’ve achieved so much in the last few months. Even with the bad days, I am truly grateful to be here right now in this moment and that’s something I couldn’t have said back in 2014. It’s taken a long time, but I finally believe that everything is going to be okay. I honestly can’t wait to see where I am in my life at this time next year.

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