“No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear.” ― C.S. Lewis

Let’s talk about grief.

There are a lot of thoughts rushing through my mind right now, so this post might be a little ramble-y, but I need to try to make sense of them and writing is the only way I know how.

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Context – a few days ago a friend-of-a-friend died. He was in the year below me at school, and I’d seen him around, I might have even of spoken to him a few times, but I didn’t know him. Still, finding out broke my heart, and for a while I couldn’t process it.

I’ve had people that I’m close with pass away before, but they were all sick. This was out of the blue and it really shook me. The air is sucked from my lungs when I think about his friends and family with what they are going through. I can’t even begin to put into words that kind of pain.

For awhile I couldn’t work out what I was feeling inside, but I think I’ve just figured it out. I’m not grieving the loss of a friend, but the loss of a future, of possibilities, of a person. There’s so much that he won’t get to do, so many memories that he’ll be missing from, and that is heart breaking.

It really puts things into perspective – this is it, this is life and we’ve got to make the most of it. You’ve got to appreciate the people in your life and make sure they know it too. One day this is all going to be a memory, so make sure its a good one.

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