Six years ago, you left and my heart hasn’t been whole since. Somehow, it feels like more and less time has passed – you’ve missed so much, I’m a completely different person to who I used to be, and yet your voice is so clear in my head. I can hear you sing to me, laughing at the silly things and the way you’d squeak with excitement. How has it been six years?
I’ve got so many questions that will remain unanswered. What would you be doing now? What would your house be like? Would you have found someone and got married? Kids? I used to think that twenty three was old, but my god, its not. You had such big dreams, and I still can’t believe you’re not here to fulfill them.
There’s been so many times when I’ve needed your advice – you always knew what to say, when to tell me to get my act together, when to walk away. I’m so sorry I couldn’t do that for you.
There’s a million thoughts rushing through my mind, but I can’t find the words to tell you how much I miss you. Nothing does it justice. No words can capture the the way you’d light up a room with your smile, or the way your hands shook as you touched your scars for the first time. Nothing feels the hole in my heart, believe me I’ve tried.
I hope that you know how much I love you. Thank you for everything you did; for the words of encouragement, and the stern chats, for the advice I was too stupid to take, and for picking up the pieces anyway, for making me appreciate my life so much more.
I am so privileged to have known you, and even though you’re not here, I still feel your influence on my life everyday.
Praying that you’re living another life, wherever you are, to the fullest, the only way you knew how.