After a month away at university, you’d think that my life is all non-stop clubbing, drinking and socialising, right?
Here’s the thing: I’m like a little timid mouse when it comes to partying. I don’t like the noise or the amount of people – it freaks me out – and something tells me that having a panic attack isn’t the best way to make friends. So the stereotypical freshers image isn’t one that I suit, but it’s left me wondering what it is that non-drinking, shy students do after lectures?
Just to be clear – so that you don’t worry too much – I have made some friends here. My flatmates are nice, and there’s a few people in my classes that I get on with – but I haven’t found the group of best friends for life all the movies promised me. Making friends as a kid was easy, but as an adult, I can’t remember how I used to do it.
How do I start a conversation with someone? What if they don’t want to talk to me? What do I even say? Why is this so difficult?
It doesn’t help that I can’t articulate my thoughts very well. My mind rushes at a million miles an hour, but my mouth? That’s more of a fish out of water impression. The words get lost on the way to my lips; sometimes there’s an anxious lump in my throat that they just can’t make it past.
I came to university to gain some independence, but I really hope that doesn’t mean doing everything on my own.