I know that you like to imagine what life will be like when you’re my age, how different it will be – “I’ll be successful and know what I’m doing.”, “I’ll be able to do what I want to, when I want to!”, “I’ll meet the love of my life…”
I’m here to tell you that we’re still waiting on all three.
The adults you see around you right now, they’re just guessing at life, making it up as they go and doing the best with what they have. This idea of being “grown up” is a lie; Yes, I have more freedom than you do, but I also have more responsibilities and I’d take being care-free again in a heartbeat.
There’s so much going on in your life right now; you’re dealing with exams, boys and grief, but I promise you, you’ll get through it. It’s not easy, but every heart-break you go through, helps to make a stronger me. Every bad experience is a lesson learnt, and even the really awful things that are going to happen teach us something about who to trust and how to live.
I wish I could prepare you for the next few years, but it’s only now that I’m looking back on it that I can see clearly what’s happening. I could try and tell you that the boy you’re head over heels for is bad news, but you won’t listen anyway. Try and remember that no matter how useless he makes you feel, you have so much to offer the world. You can and will survive this.
As for school, you’ll do okay if you put the effort in, so put the effort in! There’s nothing wrong to admitting that you’re struggling and need help, not even you can be good at everything. You’ll get there in the end, just go at your own pace and don’t compare yourself to others. They might look like they have everything figured out, but they probably don’t – and even if somehow they do, what works for them, might not work for you.
I wish I could tell you all about my life now, but you won’t believe half the stuff I’ve done, the things I’m capable of now. It’s okay to not know what path to take,try each one until you find something you like – you never know where you’ll end up. I’ve still got a lot to learn and a long way to go, but I hope that I’m making you proud.
“Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.” – George Bernard Shaw
A slightly older, not much wiser, You.