It’s been a while since I wrote to you, even longer since I saw you, but I think about you all the time. Things have changed since you left but I still have a piece of my heart missing. I know it’s the piece of me that you took with you when you passed; I wish I had more to remember you by.
That was nearly six years ago now, and I’ve grown up in that time. You’ve missed so much, good and bad, but now that I have the chance I can’t find the words to tell you about any of it. Part of me hopes that you’re watching over me, guiding me, looking out for me. There’s another part of me that wants you to be off living another life, being happy and doing all the things you never got to do while you were here. I wonder about what those things would be all the time.
Would you have gone to uni? What would you have studied? I know that you loved art. I remember all of the sketches you used to do with Emma. Are you with her now? Are you both happy?
Do you remember that time we went to Brighton? Just the three of us, about £50 and the whole day to enjoy; I never wanted that day to end. I remember sheltering under the pier with you and watching the waves. We were just kids, but in that moment, I knew that I loved you. I still do.
I go there a lot now, Brighton I mean, not under the pier. I’ve been working in the art gallery, believe it or not. Everything there reminds me of you two. When this project came up, I thought it was kind of like a sign from you. It was your way of telling me things would be okay. A town you loved and a project that would have excelled at. There’s even a phoenix there! I just wonder what you’d think of it. I wonder what you’d think of me.
There’s so much I want to tell you, but the words won’t come out; replaced instead by tears because I will never know the answers to these questions. I miss you. I know that I’m a stronger and better person for knowing you, and I will never ever forget you. You’re there in everything I do. I’ll make it count.
Until I see you again, ❤