Memory Lane Just Isn’t The Same

My first best friend just had a baby. The girl that I used to sit next to every day and share secrets with, now has a very small child that will be dependent on her for the rest of her life. We used to imagine what being a mum would be like and now she is one.

I’m not sure why this is so shocking to me.

I mean we’re both adults now, but I just can’t get my head around this. We haven’t spoken in almost ten years and when I think about her I remember the sweet little nine year old that used to come round to play. In my mind, she hasn’t aged at all.

It got me thinking though about all my other school friends. They’ve all grown up too, moved away and gotten on with their lives. They’re out there somewhere studying or traveling or starting a family. We’ve got nothing in common anymore but the memories we’ve shared, and yet I hope they still remember me.

I hope that every now and then they reminisce on the things that happened at that school way back when. Maybe they’ll hear a song that will remind them of the stage in the playground. Or perhaps they’ll find some long forgotten photos from birthday parties or school shows.

It’s weird how things change while you’re busy getting on with your life.

After all this, I’m left in a state of nostalgia. I long to be able to go back to being eight years old again, to run around in the playground and then to sit cross legged in assembly. I want just one more game of handstands in the field or one more packed lunch in that dining hall. Don’t get me wrong, I love my life now and the people in it, but I yearn for one more day of innocence before I go off to be an adult.

“We’re so caught up in our everyday lives that events of the past, like ancient stars that have burned out, are no longer in orbit around our minds. There are just too many things we have to think about every day, too many new things we have to learn. New styles, new information, new technology, new terminology … But still, no matter how much time passes, no matter what takes place in the interim, there are some things we can never assign to oblivion, memories we can never rub away. They remain with us forever, like a touchstone.”

― Haruki Murakami, Kafka on the Shore


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